Showing the Ropes People really need help around here, especially when they first move to Crestline. I’ve watched people endure some bad situations just because they’re new and they don’t know how to get out of them. So maybe I’ll start a service and call it, “Getting to Know the Ropes,” which would be designed to help new residents keep their stress levels low. I thought about this last week when I saw an elderly woman in a sedan who was obviously making her first trip to the dump. Part of my “Ropes Course” would be “Dump Etiquette and Orientation 101.” The first mistake this lady made was driving from the west, innocently not noticing the huge line backed up on the side of the road coming from the east. She just turned left into the dump road, cutting in front of all of these guys in their yard hauling trucks, many of whom are about the size of an NFL linebacker. If you ever want to draw an angry mob around your car without having to drive all the way to Los Angeles, just cut in front of the line at the Heaps Peak Transfer Station. At least the guys who jumped out to set her straight saw that she was a little old lady and left the baseball bats and axe handles in their cars. But they did set her straight, and she learned the first etiquette point—go down to the turnout and get into the back of the line. When she finally got to the building, flustered, she pulled into the wrong space, backed all the way into the building to the pile of trash against the back wall and had a very close encounter with a very large tractor. The Burrtec guys frantically led her out of there. I could have saved her all of this stress by sitting in the passenger side and talking her through it all. Speaking of which, “Minimizing Stress in Emergency Situations” could be another module. Here’s an example: One day in the late afternoon you might be traveling up the 138 when a storm is just starting to roll in. Visibility is about the length of your arm. Just below Crestline you roll over a big rock in the road and blow your tire. If you’re new, you make the big mistake of pulling over into the turnout and either become soaked by changing the tire in the rain or you get soaked and risk your life walking to Top Town to call a tow truck. If you get a flat on the cutoff, just remember this little Crestline mnemonic—keep driving on the rim to The Rim. Say it three times and it starts sounding like a little song. Why do you think there is a big tire service shop right there at the top of the hill? You think it’s a coincidence? Nope, they’ve done quite well for themselves for many years in that spot, thank you. Location, location, location. Cars are going slowly anyway, and your rim is likely in bad shape. So limp to the tire shop and park, give them your keys and walk across the street and grab a hot coffee and a donut, or go next door for a whiskey sour, or another door down for a coke and a pizza. Whatever you choose, your problem will be fixed, you’ll be dry and clean, and I guarantee you’ll have a much better attitude about the whole thing. Part of the ropes is avoiding stress when we get a big snow. It’s coming, don’t you doubt it. As the emergency folks always harp, keep plenty of extra food and water on hand. In my mind, this is not a contingency in case you’re snowed in; you just do this so you don’t have to go anywhere. When I make a big pot of chili, I make extra and always freeze a nice big Tupperware bowl of it. Then when it snows, I just take that big round brick out of the freezer and slowly heat it up on the stove for an hour or so—it’s a meal in a pot with no hassle. Also, if the big one is coming, before it starts even raining, just go ahead and put your chains on. I’d much rather do it in a dry driveway on top of a 2 X 4 than in a snow bank. In the dry driveway it takes about 10 minutes to put the chains on. In a snow bank it takes a half hour that seems like hours. If you don’t end up needing them, it only takes a minute to remove them. And the last and best stress relieving tip for the snow: I don’t care how old you think you are, get a sled and just go for it. Power outages are also stressful. Lately I’ve been writing about lighting and cooking solutions for when the power goes off. But you know what I’ve found is the best thing to do when the power goes off? Just leave. Go somewhere. If it’s in the daytime, go take a hike. If it’s in the evening, go to a restaurant up here that has power or go down the hill and take in a movie. Go down to Home Depot and hang out—you’ll find all kinds of things there to keep you busy. Maybe you’ll finally spring for that generator you’ve always wanted. Better yet, if you’re not busy, pack up some clothes, tell your sister in Redondo Beach that you’re doing a “voluntary evacuation” for a day while they work on the power (you’re telling the truth, right?) and enjoy some time at the ocean while someone else does the cooking. |
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